have you ever dated someone, and regretted it so much that you actually cringe at the mere sight of their facebook photo as it pops up in your news feed? yeah well you are one of those guys.
so here is a list of the things about you i will never, ever understand.
1. your profile picture is not "hot" because you're pulling that "oh yeah i'm a french badass" face. you look like you're smelling something iffy
2. that shirt doesn't highlight your muscular arms. it looks like dolly parton's parting gift
3. those x's you post everywhere... yeah not "sensitive" but "gay"
4. enough with the pouts... you're not a 13-year old girl.
5. sweatpants? really?
6. i don't think you're a pimp because you have two girls kissing your cheeks in your profile picture. i think you're a poser
7. the gesture was adorable, but your present was hideous
8. it's over. no need to text me "goodnight cutie", i told you i was done
9. yeah. you got huge muscles. WE GET IT. stop showing them off like some tramp
10. leave my friends alone and start hanging out with the people at your own school
11. you don't really look like that actor from that show. that's all in your head
12. you have thrice the amount of profile pictures that i do.... wow
14. no it's not okay it doesn't happen to everyone and it is a big deal
15. you got people to spy on me? how very not-zac-efron of you
16. you can't "claim" me because i am your "ex". those guys were my friends before yours
and last of all, thank you for raising my expectations so high that when you failed to meet a single one of them it repulsed me so much from you that i cannot bear the mere thought of you. so i would appreciate it if you got out of my life and moved on because i surely have, long ago but a little too late.
note: unfortunately you won't read this or ever understand what i am feeling (or lack thereof) for you.
but i am sorry for being so harsh online behind your back, that isn't very classy of me
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